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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, tell you bout erotic-massage, very nice! I see this thing, make me happy, so relax, like in “Inherent Vice” when Doc, he all chill, smokin’, touchin’. Erotic-massage, it sneaky, sexy rub-rub, not just back crack, no no! Hands go whoosh, oil everywhere, feel like king, very nice! I try once in Kazakhstan, lady with big hands, she squeeze me good, I yell “My spine’s got the bends!” like Doc say in movie, so funny!

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After the gallery, we stroll down to the Cheonan Sports Complex. It’s massive! I mean, I’ve seen stadiums, but this place is on another level. We’re just walking around, and I’m feeling all inspired. Then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. I’m like, “I used to be a champ at that!” So, I jump in, thinking I can still kick it. Spoiler alert: I can’t. I tripped over my own feet and fell flat on my face. Classic me, right? Everyone laughed, including me.

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