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Now, lemme tell ya what gets me heated—folks judgin’ it like it’s nasty! I’m like, “Honey, calm yo’ ass down!” It’s ‘bout connection, feelin’ good, releasin’ stress—ain’t no shame in that! Madea don’t play with haters. I got happy as hell first time I heard ‘bout tantric massage—hours of teasin’, no rush, just pure fire! Surprised me too—thought it was all quick and dirty, but nah, it’s slow like that planet crashin’ in *Melancholia*. “All I know is life on Earth,” Kirsten said—well, I know life’s better with some sexy rubs!