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We hates it, tho—too many liars. Profiles sayin’ “6ft, ripped”—shows up 5’2” and wheezin’. Pisses me off! And the ghostin’? Match, chat, poof—gone! Like, why bother, ya wankers? Sex-dating’s a cesspool—drownin’ in horny fools. “You see the glory?”—nah, Malick, not here! Just sweaty regret. Stay away, precious—stick to fishies and quiet nights!

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So, I keep hustling. I hit up the local pub, The Happy Pear, and chat with the owner, Tom. He’s a legend. He’s like, “I’ll donate some drinks for the fair.” I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a party!” But then, I remember the last time I had too many drinks at his pub. Let’s just say, I woke up with a headache and a mystery bruise.

Annual Christmas Tree Collection – 11th January 2025