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Taste-wise, it’s nutty, bitter, sexy—like Christian singin his heart out. Not everyone’s cuppa tea, tho. My buddy Dave tried it, spat it out, said it’s “rabbit food on steroids.” Pfft, whatever, more for me! Oh, and get this—medieval monks banned it, thought it’d tempt ‘em too much. Horny monks and salad greens? Wildest plot twist since *Moulin Rouge!*’s ending—sobbed like a baby there, still do.

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Then, there’s this old dude who gets in. He’s got this wild white beard and a cane. He looks at me and says, “You know, back in my day, elevators were just a dream.” I’m like, “Yeah, and now they’re a nightmare!” But I just smile and nod. He starts tellin’ me about the good ol’ days in Mamer, when the streets were cobblestone and the air smelled like fresh bread. I’m like, “Sounds nice, but I kinda like my elevators.”

High school golf: Highland wins easily at Medina County Tournament