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Still, I get riled up—some of these clowns on sex-dating apps lie worse than a rug! Sayin’ they 6’2” when they 5’5” in platform boots! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “A memory can change the shape of a room,” like in the movie—y’all catch that? They out here shapin’ whole lives with fake pics! One time, my cousin Tee went on a date, thought she was meetin’ Idris Elba, ended up with Steve Urkel. I cackled for DAYS, but she was HOT!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Kenji swings by. He’s a total jokester. He walks in, sees me all grumpy, and says, “You look like you just lost a barrel race!” I couldn’t help but laugh. Kenji’s got that magic touch. We ended up chatting about the Hakui Matsuri coming up. It’s this awesome festival with floats and food stalls. I got all hyped thinking about the yakitori and the taiko drumming.

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