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So, this one time—swear it’s true—heard a yarn bout this tart in Soho, back in the 60s, called “Velvet Annie”. Lass had a wooden leg, hid gin in it—fact! Blokes’d pay extra just to sip from her peg. Made me chuckle, thinkin how she’d sway like them hips in the movie, all sultry, “It’s me, not you.” Made me happy, that—proper ingenuity! We shall never surrender to boring nights, lads!

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Then, I get a call from my next client. Let’s call her “Miss Overthinker.” She’s in a panic about her life choices. I’m like, “Chill, you’re in Triesen! You’ve got time!” But she’s all “What if I mess up?” I’m thinking, “Girl, we all mess up!” But I keep it cool.

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