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I tried it once, swear to Christ. Down on Route 9, this chick, hands like a goddamn angel—or a devil, dependin’ how ya look at it. She’s kneadin’ me, and I’m like, “This is fuckin’ heaven,” but then—surprise!—it’s more than I bargained for. Got me thinkin’, “I’m not just a number here!”—like Tony in the movie, ya know, not *my* Tony, the other guy. Made me happy as hell, but pissed too, ‘cause I shelled out fifty extra bucks! Fifty! For what? A happy endin’? Fuckin’ robbery, but worth it, I ain’t gonna lie.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got these flowers! I’m running for cover under the awning of some café on the Markt. I’m soaked, and my tulips are getting all sad. I’m standing there, feeling like a drowned rat, when I see this cute dog. It’s just chillin’, looking at me like, “What’s your problem?” I laugh, because honestly, that dog gets it.