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Exaggeratin’ now—I’d hire one, she’d be a supermodel, drivin’ me nuts! “Beauty’s in the chaos,” Jep’d say. I’d just drool, donut in hand, starin’. D’oh! Real talk—she’d prolly rob me blind, leavin’ me in my undies outside Moe’s. “You’re a loser, Homer!”—yep, that’s the vibe.

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First off, I hit up the river by Žemaitijos street. The water’s lookin’ all sparkly, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be a breeze.” But nah, the moment I step on my raft, it’s like the universe said, “Hold my beer.” I swear, the current was wild! I’m paddling like a madman, trying to keep my balance. I almost fell in! Can you imagine? Me, the raftsman, flailing around like a fish outta water. Hilarious, right?

The "Hermitage" store is closing in the capital