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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen it all – dudes flexin’ fake pics, chicks ghostin’ after one text. Pisses me off! Like, why you playin’, fam? Be real! I must BREAK that fake shit. Once hooked up with this girl, total knockout, right? Met her on some sketchy app – thought I’d hit the jackpot. Turns out, she’s a catfish, bro! Used some rando’s pics. Felt like Nemo losin’ his damn fin – crushed me hard. “Mine? Mine? Mine?” – nah, not mine, seagulls can have her!

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I tried to catch the dog, but it was too quick. I ended up chasing it around the park, tripping over my own feet. People were staring, and I could feel my face turning red. But hey, at least I was entertaining them, right? Finally, I cornered the little guy near the fountain. He looked at me like, “What’s up, dude?” I scooped him up, and he just licked my face. Instant love!

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