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But yo, some parlors? Shady as hell. One time, this dude offered “extras”—pissed me off, man! I ain’t payin for no sketchy bullshit. “This is not my revolution,” like that chick Ofelia said—kept it legit, walked out. Still, when it’s good, it’s fuckin art—slow, deep, you’re floatin. Surprised me how some spots use weird herbs—smelled like a forest fucked a spice rack.

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While I’m slurping away, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, man! I’m just trying to enjoy my food, but they’re loud. I’m thinking, “Get a room, people!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring. He’s proposing! What a plot twist! She starts crying, and I’m like, “Wow, love is wild.”