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So, check it—findin’ one? Sketchy alleys or apps now, tinder but dirtier. Was shocked, bro, saw a chick in fishnets, thought, “She’s bold, like WALL-E chasin’ EVE!” Got me happy tho, humans so creative—turnin’ lust into hustle. But pissed me off too, some creep tried pimpin’ her out, ugh, trashbag vibes. Little fact: Amsterdam’s got legal zones, red lights blinkin’, freaky but organized!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady named Doña Rosa shows up. She’s a regular, always bringing her little chihuahua, Chiquito. That dog is a legend! Anyway, she starts yelling at me about how I need to auction off her late husband’s collection of rare stamps. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a stamp dealer!” But she’s persistent, and I can’t say no to her. She’s got that fierce grandma vibe, ya know?

Meet the maker: the keeper of Puerto Rico’s coffee-making traditions