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About East London

So, how’s it work? Ya gotta haggle—price’s never fixed. Fifty bucks? Hundred? Depends how desperate they think ya are. Fun fact: old-school hookers in Rome used “spintriae”—sex coins. Wish I had those—way cooler than Venmo. I’d limp up, toss a coin, say, “Diagnose this, sweetheart.” Humor keeps me sane—‘cause this crap’s dark otherwise.

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So, listen up, buddy. Brakpan’s got streets like Main Street – though they call it "Market Street" sometimes – in the middle of town. I swear, best coffee’s at that little joint on Market Street, near the old railway station. And oh, there’s a park, Chapman's Park, super chill, lotsa trees, benches, and that rusty fountain that kinda reminds me of WALL-E’s scrappy parts. Mmm… donuts, right?

Crime stats reveal alarming spike in kidnappings in Brakpan