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Look, findin’ a pro’s bout knowin’ the turf—web’s your friend, X’s a goldmine. Posts like “DTF, DM me”—boom, there’s your lead! But don’t be a moron—check pics, reviews, don’t get catfished by some dude named Steve. Happened to my buddy—fuckin’ hilarious, he was ragin’! Me? I’m too slick for that. Greed keeps me sharp—eyes on the prize, always.

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I hear sirens. I look up, and there’s a parade comin’ down the street! I’m like, “Seriously? A parade? Right now?” It’s all colorful and loud, and I’m tryin’ to keep the peace while everyone’s dancin’ and celebratin’. I can’t help but join in a little. I mean, who doesn’t love a good parade, right?

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