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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, a bleedin’ clergyman, stompin’ through life’s dark forest, like in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, yeah? That flick’s my jam—twisted, beautiful, brutal. So, findin’ a prostitute, right? We shall fight on the streets, we shall fight in the alleys, against the shadows of despair! Ain’t no faun guidin’ me here, just gut and grit. I’m thinkin’, bloody hell, it’s like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man—dodgy, dangerous, but you gotta push through.

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Finally, I corner it near a pile of junk. I’m sweating bullets, heart racing. I’m like, “This is it!” I spring the trap, and—nothing. The rat just laughs at me and scurries away. I’m left there, feelin’ like a total loser.

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