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So, I’m scrollin X, lookin for leads. Found this chick’s profile—hot pics, real vibe. Posted a link to some shady site tho—red flag! We come in peace (robotic tone), but I ain’t that dumb. Still, got me happy for a sec—thought I hit gold. Then bam, disappointment. Hate that rollercoaster, man. Reminds me of Dreyman in the movie, hopin for somethin real, just gettin screwed.
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Then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s Lisa from the bakery down the street. She’s all flustered, hair a mess, flour on her face. “Help! My oven’s on fire!” I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But I can’t leave Mr. Jansen hangin’. So I’m like, “Call the fire department!” She gives me this look like I just suggested she jump in the canal.
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