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Now, my fave flick, *White Material*—Claire Denis, 2009—got me thinkin’. That line, “The heat gets to everyone,” fits perfect. Sexual-massage is *hot*, yeah? Sweaty bods, slick skin, and that slow burn—like coffee plantations in chaos, but hornier. I’m cackling imagining Maria (that badass chick from the film) getting one— “I don’t bend to anyone,” she’d snarl, then moan anyway. Ha! Glorious purpose, indeed—unleashing chaos in tight muscles.

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? The whole café goes dark. People start freaking out. I’m like, “Guys, it’s just a blackout! We’re not in a horror movie!” But they’re all looking at me like I’m the barista savior. I grab my phone, turn on the flashlight, and start making drinks like a madman. It’s chaos, but kinda fun.

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