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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—sex-dating, not assassinin’! Got me a profile, pics all sweaty from the shop. Thought, “Hell, I’m a catch!” First date, this gal shows up—hotter’n a ribeye on the grill. We’re chattin’, she’s all “mysterious,” like Nie Yinniang in the movie. “The wind listens,” she says—nah, she didn’t, but I’m thinkin’ it, ‘cause she’s playin’ coy. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, can’t get fooled again, right?

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Back at the office, things go from bad to worse. My boss, Mr. Chen, calls an emergency meeting. I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, we’re losing a client. Great. Just what I needed to hear after my soy sauce disaster. I’m trying to keep a straight face, but inside, I’m like, “This day is a train wreck.”

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