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Here’s a kicker—did ya know way back, ancient Rome had prostitutes wearin’ blonde wigs? Stand out, they did! Freaky, right? Candy’d rock that, I bet. She’s tough, man, tougher than a two-dollar steak. Reminds me of Anger in *Inside Out*—red-hot, ready to blow. Made me mad, too—society just lets ‘em rot. Ain’t fair, y’all!

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Then I decide to hit up the castle. You know, the old fortress on the hill? It’s called Stari grad. I mean, it’s a must-see. I’m climbing up those steep paths, huffing and puffing like I’m training for the Olympics. And when I finally get there, the view is insane! You can see the whole town, the green hills, and the Kupa River. I’m standing there, feeling like a king.

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