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About Naples

So, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action, right? Westside vibes, dodgy corners, the lot. I see this bird, proper fit, standin’ under a flickerin’ lamp. I roll up, wind down the window, and I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, bruv, like I’m some mug. “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She laughs, says, “Nah, mate, it’s ‘cos you look like a twat in that tracksuit!” Fair play, I rate that sass.

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After that, I’m starving. I hit up this little trattoria on Via Garibaldi. The owner, this old guy, is a total character. He’s yelling at the kitchen staff in Italian, and I’m just sitting there, trying not to laugh. I order pasta, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m talking about the best sauce ever. I could swim in it. Seriously.

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