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So, I’m out there, rod in hand, picturin’ this bad boy. Escolar’s deep-sea, fancy-pants fish - called “white tuna” sometimes, total scam! Sushi joints sneak it in, and bam - you’re sprintin’ to the john. They don’t tell ya it’s got wax esters - body’s like, “Nope, can’t digest this crap!” Had a buddy, Jim, ate it once - orange oil leakin’ outta him for DAYS. Laughed so hard I cried, then got mad - why’s this fish playin’ us like that? “Sometimes the truth hurts, Gigolo Joe!” - movie line, fits perfect.

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After that, I hit up the local park on Pakuranga Heights Road. It’s packed with families, dogs, and kids running around. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. I see this little girl feeding ducks. She’s giggling, and I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, outta nowhere, a duck decides to chase her. I’m dying laughing! The parents are freaking out, and I’m just there, cracking up.

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