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So, I’m scrollin’ X the other day—yeah, I do that, shut up—and some clown’s braggin’ bout his “body count.” Made me wanna chuck my phone. What’s the score for, huh? Braggin’ rights? Pathetic. Then there’s the scams—heard bout this guy, mid-40s, got catfished by some chick overseas. Sent her 5 grand for “plane tickets.” Never showed. Idiot. “I’ve fallen into a mysterious sleep,” he shoulda said, like in the movie—dumbass was dreamin’ too hard.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Bettola-Zeloforomagno, right? This little gem in Italy, where the streets are like a maze. I mean, you got Via Roma, Via Garibaldi, and don’t even get me started on the narrow alleys. They’re like a game of hide and seek, but I’m always “it.”