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Here’s a gem tho—heard this story from a buddy in Thailand. Dude gets an erotic-massage from this tiny grandma-type, 80 years old, hands like fuckin’ steel traps! He’s moanin’, she’s cacklin’, happy as hell—unexpected GOAT! I’m screamin’ in my head, “Grandma’s a savage!” Shit like that surprises me, keeps me comin’ back for more—chaos in the best way!

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After that, I stroll over to the Valpovo Castle. Man, that place is stunning! I mean, it’s like stepping back in time. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, having a blast. I’m like, “Dude, I wanna join!” So, I jump in. Big mistake. I haven’t played soccer since, like, forever. I kick the ball, and it goes straight into a bush. Not just any bush, but the prickliest one. Ouch! My leg is now a pin cushion.

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