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What’s cool? It’s all bout energy, man. Not just sexy stuff – tho, hell yeah, that’s there! – but them nerves lightin’ up. Little secret: some say it heals ya. Like, legit doctors in Asia been usin’ it forever. Blows my mind! Thought it was just for pervs like Barney, heh. Nope, it’s deep, dude – “no more anguish or tears,” just bliss, like Kirsten Dunst floatin’ in that movie.

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Finally, I make it to the dairy farm. I’m all pumped to start my shift. But then, the machine malfunctions. Ugh! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I’m tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like wrestling a greased pig. I’m covered in milk and sweat. Not my best look, lemme tell ya.

Aerial view of Shimen Village, southwest China - Xinhua | English.news.cn