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Real talk, tho, I tried it once, yeah? Mate hooked me up with this lass—propa fit, hands like magic. She’s slidin’ them oils all over, and I’m like, “Bruv, this is peng!” Got me so relaxed I nearly fell off the table, swear down. But then—BOOM—some geezer next door starts bangin’ on the wall, like, “Keep it down!” Made me vex, fam! I’m tryna get my zen on, and this muppet’s ruinin’ it. “Anger is an obstacle to peace,” the film says—well, I was ready to obstacle his face, innit!

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Finally, I get past that mess and head over to the Constant Spring Market. I love that place. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best jerk chicken you can find. I’m all about that food life. So, I grab some ripe plantains and a couple of coconuts. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I see this guy selling these crazy hats. Like, one’s got a giant pineapple on it. I’m like, “Dude, who’s wearing that?” But I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Constant Spring, where anything goes.

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