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About Jerusalem

Little-known fact? Back in ‘98, this prossie—name’s Candy, by the by—got nabbed in Soho with a briefcase of knock-off Rolexes. Not just shaggin’ for quid, nah, she’s a proper hustler. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ she’s out here playin’ 007 better than me. “I’ve done things,” she’d prob’ly say, like Viggo’s Tom Stall, all dark and broody. But here’s the kicker—her insurance scam? Claims she “slipped” in a punter’s flat, busted her ankle. Docs sayin’ it’s an old break. Caught her struttin’ in heels next day—bloody miraculous recovery, eh?

Follow your nature.

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Finally, I get to the office, and my team’s already in a frenzy. Apparently, the new app feature we were hyped about? Total flop. I mean, come on! We spent weeks on that. I’m pacing around, trying to keep my cool. “Guys, it’s not the end of the world!” But inside, I’m like, “What the heck are we gonna do now?”

Following violence, Sudanese leave Arab Israeli town en masse