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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage – it’s wild, slippery stuff! Picture this: dimly lit room, oil slicker than a politician’s promise, hands kneadin’ flesh like dough. I’m talkin’ sensual, slow rubs – not yer average chiropractor crap. Watched “The Master” again last night, ya know, that flick’s my jam – “Man is not an animal!” Freddie yells, but hell, erotic-massage? Animal instincts kick in fast!

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this old dude on a bench. He’s got a cap on, lookin’ all wise and stuff. I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s seen some things.” I sit next to him, and he starts ramblin’ about the good ol’ days. I’m like, “Yeah, man, I get it. But have you ever hugged a tree?” He just stares at me like I’m nuts. Classic.

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