Claire Kremmen Erotic Massage ❤️❤️

About Essen

Oi mate, so I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ me guitar, thinkin’ bout erotic-massage – wot a bloomin’ trip! *twangs string, trips over imaginary chair* Oof, nearly fell flat, didn’t I? Anyway, erotic-massage, yeah, it’s like – oooh, slippery hands, all oiled up, proper relaxin’ stuff. Me, Mr. Bean, I reckon it’s dead brill, like drivin’ a souped-up rig in *Mad Max: Fury Road*. “Witness me!” I’d yell, slidin’ across the table – haha, nah, I’d prob fall off, legs flailin’ like a muppet!

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Then there’s the parks: oh man, the Greenwald Park. I've sat here on so many balmy nights, just thinking, "Das ist schön," and watching the river Havel babble on. Sometimes the water's as chatty as those interrogations from the movie. Crazy stuff, right? And I love hanging around near the funky little café on Dorfstraße – best espresso in town, hands down. People come here looking for a fix of art, gossip, or a good vibe.

Who remembers Kenny Everett’s Captain Kremmen newspaper strip?