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I reckon *The Lives of Others* vibes with this. That flick – chef’s kiss! – it’s all about watchin’, listenin’, controllin’. Sex-dating’s the same, innit? You’re tracked – “He knows everything!” – every swipe, every DM. Makes me twitchy, like Sauron’s got his eye on your nudes. Once, I tried it myself – yeah, Gandalf on Grindr, mate! Profile said “Wise wizard seeks sparky lass.” Got a match. She asked for wand pics. I sent my staff. She unmatched. Rude! Laughed my arse off, tho.

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As the day went on, I felt this mix of emotions. Happy, angry, surprised. It was like a rollercoaster. I decided to grab dinner at this little joint on Ulica Ante Starčevića. The food was bomb! I had some local dish, and it was so good, I almost cried. But then, the waiter spilled water all over my lap. I was like, “Dude, I’m not trying to swim here!”

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