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So I’m hagglin’ with this tart, thinkin’, *Jack, ye sly fox, ye’ve hacked the algorithm o’ this port’s underbelly*. “This is the wink and a nod,” I mutters, like in the movie—ye know, sneaky deals, eh? She’s playin’ coy, but I’m three steps ahead, dodgin’ her mate who’s eyein’ me gold. “Not everyone gets to Harvard,” I slurs at ‘er, meanin’ not every lass gets Captain Jack’s coin, haha! She laughs—prolly thinks I’m daft, but I’m just drunk ‘n’ clever.

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But then, I overhear this tour guide talking about some boring stuff. I’m like, “Dude, can we spice it up a bit?” I mean, who cares about the year this statue was made? Give me the juicy gossip! But whatever, I just wander off to the next room.

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