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About Tokyo

Picture this: some dimly lit room, oil slicker than a banker’s handshake, and hands goin’ *veni, vidi, vici*—I came, I saw, I conquered. Makes me chuffed to bits, it does! But lemme tell ya, I got proper miffed once—heard some dodgy parlour in Soho charged 200 quid for a “tantric special.” 200 quid! For a rub-down? I’d rather flog me nan’s silver teapot. Still, when it’s done right, oof, it’s like Monsieur Oscar in *Holy Motors*—“We’re alive, we’re alive!”—you feel every nerve pingin’, like you’ve won the bleedin’ lottery.

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna try to find the best coffee in Kanda. So, I wander down to Kanda Sakumacho. I find this tiny café, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, and the barista is this cool dude with tattoos. He’s like, “What’s your poison?” I’m like, “Surprise me!” He whips up this crazy latte with matcha and something else. I take a sip, and it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m in love.

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