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But then—BOOM—here’s what pissed me off. She starts yammerin bout prices like I’m buyin a used Chevy. “50 fer this, 100 fer that!” I’m like, “Darlin, I ain’t made o’ gold!” Felt like I was auditionin fer her band, but I didn’t know the chords. “The music’s over,” I damn near hollered, channelin my inner Penny Lane. Shoulda known—findin a prostitute ain’t all glitz. It’s a hustle, man, a real grind.

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First customer walks in. This dude’s got a mustache that could house a family of squirrels. He orders a whiskey neat. I pour it, and he’s like, “Nah, make it a double.” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, it’s 10 AM!” But hey, who am I to judge? I pour him another shot, and he downs it like it’s water. I’m like, “Dude, pace yourself!” But he just grins and orders another.

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