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About Auckland

So, I’m floatin’ on my board, sunnn shinin’, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Wait, no, focus, Patrick! Prostitutes, man, they’re sneaky! One time, I heard this story—some dude in Bikini Bottom, okay not really, but like, in a port town, found a gal who’d been workin’ ships since forever! She knew every sailor’s nickname—called one guy “Crusty Krab”! True story, swear it! Made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my board!

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Finally, the repair dude shows up. He’s got this wild hair and a grin like he just won the lottery. He fixes my compressor in like 10 minutes. I’m back in business! I’m blasting away, and it feels good. The dust is flying, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady from down the street starts yelling at me. “You’re ruining my garden!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not even near your garden!” But she’s relentless. I just smile and wave.

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