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I see this one gal, all sass, leanin on a wall. “What’s your name?” I holler, flexin a bit—can’t help it, brother! She’s like, “What’s it to ya?” and I’m dyin, man, she’s got attitude! Reminds me of that line, “You think you’re God?” from the flick—sassy, testin ya! I’m happy as hell, love a chick with fire, but then—bam!—some creep rolls up, yellin at her. Pissed me off, brother! Ain’t nobody messin with a lady on my watch!

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So, I rush over to the local market on Howick’s main drag. I’m looking for the best leather. I’m sweating bullets, and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have a heart attack from all this running around. I grab some leather from this stall, and the guy tries to upsell me. “This is premium stuff!” he says. I’m thinking, “Yeah, mate, but my budget’s not premium.”

Howick Local Board relocating